a question about relationships

[winterbadger]

I've had this discussion before with a few of you in person, but I can't recall posting the question here before. In any event, it came up the other day, and I was curious to know what other people say.

Some personals ads allow the user to specify whether they are interested in a 'long-term' or a 'short-term' relationship, and the two phrases are often used in general conversation.

But what do *you* take 'short-term' or 'long-term' to mean? Is it a relative thing? Or is it situational? And, if the latter, what situations does it vary on?

Comments

[dativesingular.livejournal.com]

Hm, I'd never really thought about it before. Maybe "short-term" equals "not really looking for commitment right now"?

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

I take long term to mean a real relationship and short term to be a fling

[rolypolypony.livejournal.com]

That's how I interpret it also.

[pisica.livejournal.com]

I'd put short-term as anything up to six months, especially if there's a fixed end date (i.e. leaving the country - not that I've been THERE of course...).

[sidhne.livejournal.com]

To me, short term means that the person does not want it to last beyond a certain point, and long term means indefinite. As to the time frames, up to six months or so seems to be the line in the sand. :o)

[histoire68.livejournal.com]

I'm not an expert on these things. But I would interpret short-term to mean "until I get bored", probably no more than six months, and long-term to mean "indefinitely, if it works out."

[shy-kat.livejournal.com]

I guess I think of long-term as "having the potential to lead to marriage".

[noting-nothing.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I interpret long-term as wanting some sort of commitment and short-term as more casual. To me, I don't see it in terms of 'timescales' (for lack of better word) but in terms of what someone wants out of a relationship. Having said that, that is sometimes unfair because there are a lot of reasons why a relationship may need to be finite.

[ariedana.livejournal.com]

I take "short term" to be mostly like friendship with maybe some no-strings-attached sex, with no expectation of it going further. "Long term" is a true romantic sex where the sex means something and the expectations for possible marriage and family are a given.

In my experience, it's very difficult for you to truly have "short term" without "long term" becoming almost expected if it lasts for more than a few months without other factors (already established relationships, moving, etc.) being in the picture.