(no subject)

[winterbadger]

In another conversation, someone said:

...what chance does partner A have of finding someone suitably compatible while partner B remains on the radar as this tremendously good friend with whom they share everything but sex?

... If you're interested in having a partner rather than just a good friend you're going to lose part of the commitment to the friend when you start looking elsewhere for a partner.

As anyone who knows me will understand, I have a vested interest in believing this not to be true. But it's a coherent expression of a response I've had from a number of people I've been interested in dating.

Comments?

[And, Max, if you object for some reason to my quoting your post, let me know. I figured it was more appropriate to do so without direct attribution and without linking to the original discussion because I wanted to discuss my reactions but I didn't want to hijack the thread the discussion originally took place in.]

Comments

[azbound.livejournal.com]

I think it is as true as you make it. In my own situation, my friendship with Gary sometimes drags me down, and I am constantly left wondering why I even bother. It is not like that with you and C.

When it comes to your relationship with C, it's just different. You two seem to have no animosity, you want the friendship and there doesn't seem to be any jealousy. You had an unconventional split - why wouldn't you have an unconventional post-relationthip relationship?

I hear what the other people are saying, but bottom line is relationships change. Would you be able to focus so much on C if you were focusing on someone else? Maybe, maybe not. You might want to focus elsewhere - and I think C is understanding enough to not get bent out of shape and appreciate it.

Does any of that make sense?