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Jan. 27th, 2012 08:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
winterbadgerThis year for Burns Night, we tried to be a little more traditional. Mr Sherwood gave an excellent address to the immortal memory of the Bard, educating us about the licentious, creative dreamer we were celebrating and the history of such commemorations. And Mr Ruppenthal and Ms Johnson gave the Toast to the Lassies, and the Reply to the Toast, both of which lived up to the traditional standard of creativity and good humour. Mr Sherwood's remarks were extemporaneous, but I have been given leave to post the toasts. :-)
For help, I googled the format,
And soon it became very clear that
it should be easy to roast my dear Kevin,
Though rhyming this may not be quite heaven.
What could I say to describe his ways?
That he leaves his clothes & shoes all over the house?
Makes fun of me when I scream about a mouse?
Acts like a louse when he leaves up the seat?
Actually... this nonsense spouted to you,
really isn't true…
all lies just like you read down on Fleet Street.
Toast to the Lassies, 2012
It’s been said that Robbie Burns, Scotland's favourite son, certainly had an eye for the ladies, although usually this 'aye' was in response to the question, 'Oi, poor boy, fancy a quick one?'! With that in mind, I offer the following.
It’s been said that Robbie Burns, Scotland's favourite son, certainly had an eye for the ladies, although usually this 'aye' was in response to the question, 'Oi, poor boy, fancy a quick one?'! With that in mind, I offer the following.
It has currently come to my attention
that it might behoove us to mention
the very spelling of the item we call a “glass”
depends heavily upon the presence of a “lass”
that it might behoove us to mention
the very spelling of the item we call a “glass”
depends heavily upon the presence of a “lass”
And in today’s modern parlance
If you’ve got one, not the other, don’t just quiver and shudder --
rather strive towards striking that balance
If you’ve got one, not the other, don’t just quiver and shudder --
rather strive towards striking that balance
Be she girlfriend, maiden or bride
she’s mostly good to have by your side
Though her patience gets short
When you’re trying to watch sport
and she’s tempted towards tanning your hide.
she’s mostly good to have by your side
Though her patience gets short
When you’re trying to watch sport
and she’s tempted towards tanning your hide.
My lass is a gal name of Christy,
and thinking of her can get me misty…
whether cooking or cleaning, she’s constantly seeing
me doing those tasks quite two-fistedly!
and thinking of her can get me misty…
whether cooking or cleaning, she’s constantly seeing
me doing those tasks quite two-fistedly!
Lest I let such untruths remain spoken --
and also so my bottle remains unbroken --
those are tasks I eschew, and still willingly do
to keep her opinion of me well-spoken
So please let’s raise a toast at last
and say HUZZAH to this evening’s fine blast!
And whether in your hand there should be
a glass, lass or laddie --
Be sure to hold tight and grip firmly!
and also so my bottle remains unbroken --
those are tasks I eschew, and still willingly do
to keep her opinion of me well-spoken
So please let’s raise a toast at last
and say HUZZAH to this evening’s fine blast!
And whether in your hand there should be
a glass, lass or laddie --
Be sure to hold tight and grip firmly!
Reply from the Lassies, 2012:
So, when asked to reply from the lass
I felt intimidated and worried I couldn’t kick ass.
I'm not widely read, but don’t let it be said
that I don’t know who Robert Burns was.
Thus, I’ll attempt what's expected
So I am not ejected,
And will now continue with this buzz…
I felt intimidated and worried I couldn’t kick ass.
I'm not widely read, but don’t let it be said
that I don’t know who Robert Burns was.
Thus, I’ll attempt what's expected
So I am not ejected,
And will now continue with this buzz…
For help, I googled the format,
And soon it became very clear that
it should be easy to roast my dear Kevin,
Though rhyming this may not be quite heaven.
What could I say to describe his ways?
That he leaves his clothes & shoes all over the house?
Makes fun of me when I scream about a mouse?
Acts like a louse when he leaves up the seat?
Actually... this nonsense spouted to you,
really isn't true…
all lies just like you read down on Fleet Street.
With all seriousness, he's quite a good laddie
and makes a fine kitty daddy!
Without me he’s lass-less
and probably more classless
But either way, he’s probably not going glass-less!
and makes a fine kitty daddy!
Without me he’s lass-less
and probably more classless
But either way, he’s probably not going glass-less!
So, lads and lassies, let's raise a toast
And put up your glass for the host --
To whom we now turn for this roast…
his hospitality is always the most!
And put up your glass for the host --
To whom we now turn for this roast…
his hospitality is always the most!
