winterbadger: (slightly bemused cat)
[personal profile] winterbadger
The way I've been feeling lately:




Bernard           Before you go, Minister, may I remind you we meet tomorrow, Paddington, eight o'clock. 

Minister           Where are we going?

Bernard           Swansea. 

Minister           Swansea?

Bernard           Yes, you're addressing the Conference of Municipal Treasurers at the Licensing Centre in Swansea.

Minister           Oh, yes.  So I am.

Frank               But Jim, you're due in Newcastle tomorrow night to address the by-election meeting.

Minister           So I am. 

(The Minister is standing between Bernard and Frank.  He relays messages from one to the other.)

Bernard           Well, you can't do both.

Minister           I can't do both, Frank.

Frank               Jim, that's just the civil service junket.  The by-election's important. 

Minister           The by-election's important, Bernard. 

Bernard           But Minister, the conference has been in your diary for some weeks.  They do expect you to go to Swansea.

Frank               Central House expects you to go to Newcastle.  Bernard, how come he's double-booked?

Minister           Bernard, how come I'm double-booked?

Bernard           Well, largely because, Minister, nobody told me about Newcastle. 

Minister           Why didn't you tell him, Frank?

Frank               Why didn't you?

Minister           I can't remember everything.  Frank, I think I'd better go to Swansea.

Bernard           Is that a decision?

Minister           Yes, that's final. 

Frank               The PM expects you to go to Newcastle. 

Minister           PM?  (turns to Bernard)  I think I'd better go to Newcastle, Bernard.

Frank               Is that a decision, Jim?

Minister           Yes, that's a decision, that's final, and I'm going home. 

Humphrey       Is that a decision?  No, no, quite seriously.  I think you've made the wrong decision, Minister.  Your visit to Swansea's been announced, it's in the programme, you can't really get out of it. 

Minister           Oh Lord.  Well, just find a way of getting me from Swansea to Newcastle.  Car, train, helicopter, anything - I'll have to do both.  And now I'm going home and that is final. 

Bernard           Finally final?

Minister           Absolutely finally.



Also on YouTube (the exchange starts at 6.06)

Date: 2011-03-10 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zoefruitcake.livejournal.com
I often feel like that :0(

Date: 2011-03-10 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] verdandiweaves.livejournal.com
I'm going to see a stage version of Yes, Minster tomorrow night. A few years back I had lunch with Antony Jay, lovely man.

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