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Saturday morning
Aug. 14th, 2004 09:24 amIt's quiet and cool and shady out my window. Maybe it's my imagination, but it's like the trees and birds (and the foxes that, according to the pest control man, may live under a corner of our house) are all waiting for the next bout of rain and wind to begin. I've gotten up to feed the cats after six hours of sleep. I'm hoping that after a little wakefulness I'll feel like going back to sleep.
Last night Chris and I fired up the grill (with a little difficulty) and grilled the rest of the meat from last weekend. She and Melissa climbed into my hammock and snuggled and we all talked as I flipped the burgers and turned the brats and we watched the mesquite wood act like a crew of fireworks technicians, sending showers of sparks arcing up into the air (or streaming down into the ash pan), hundreds of little orange firey lights in the darkness. We went inside and ate (Melissa had made a yummy couscous salad which we all enjoyed) and watched DS9, and then we played a game of Settlers of Catan, which M won, while grousing :-). And she had good reason to grouse; the grrl should go to Atlantic City. Almost every time it came around to her turn she rolled a 7 (which is Settlers is not a great roll, especially if you accumualte a lot of resource cards every turn). Almost every time she rolled she got 3,4 or 5,2 or 1,6. It was uncanny. Then they trundled off to bed; I watched an old episode of Spin City and then did the same.
I know a lot of my friends are in a good place right now. They're making wedding plans, or planning travel with their partner, doing deliciously evil things to playpals in the dark of night or having shiveringly delightful things done to them, or just curling up and snuggling with their sweetie. Through the pleasant medium of compersion, I can be happy that good things are happening for and to and because of my friends. At the same time, I'm very envious. It's been about a year since Chris and I started talking about separating, and more than that since we were really partners. In that time I've dated a couple of very nice people, but nothing has worked out, relationship-wise. A year may not seem like a long time, but after being with someone for 16 years, having that constant companionship, I really miss it. Gon't get me wrong, I'm enjoying having time and space to myself. But going to bed alone night after night, and waking up the same way (well, except for cats :-), not having someone to snuggle with and kiss... it gets old.
Hmmm. It's been an hour and a half now since I got up and fed the cats. If anything, it's quieter outside. One or two insect sounds, an occasional bird chirps, but quiet, lovely quiet. Let's see if a cup of tea and a little reading won't put me back in a frame of mind to sleep a bit more.
Last night Chris and I fired up the grill (with a little difficulty) and grilled the rest of the meat from last weekend. She and Melissa climbed into my hammock and snuggled and we all talked as I flipped the burgers and turned the brats and we watched the mesquite wood act like a crew of fireworks technicians, sending showers of sparks arcing up into the air (or streaming down into the ash pan), hundreds of little orange firey lights in the darkness. We went inside and ate (Melissa had made a yummy couscous salad which we all enjoyed) and watched DS9, and then we played a game of Settlers of Catan, which M won, while grousing :-). And she had good reason to grouse; the grrl should go to Atlantic City. Almost every time it came around to her turn she rolled a 7 (which is Settlers is not a great roll, especially if you accumualte a lot of resource cards every turn). Almost every time she rolled she got 3,4 or 5,2 or 1,6. It was uncanny. Then they trundled off to bed; I watched an old episode of Spin City and then did the same.
I know a lot of my friends are in a good place right now. They're making wedding plans, or planning travel with their partner, doing deliciously evil things to playpals in the dark of night or having shiveringly delightful things done to them, or just curling up and snuggling with their sweetie. Through the pleasant medium of compersion, I can be happy that good things are happening for and to and because of my friends. At the same time, I'm very envious. It's been about a year since Chris and I started talking about separating, and more than that since we were really partners. In that time I've dated a couple of very nice people, but nothing has worked out, relationship-wise. A year may not seem like a long time, but after being with someone for 16 years, having that constant companionship, I really miss it. Gon't get me wrong, I'm enjoying having time and space to myself. But going to bed alone night after night, and waking up the same way (well, except for cats :-), not having someone to snuggle with and kiss... it gets old.
Hmmm. It's been an hour and a half now since I got up and fed the cats. If anything, it's quieter outside. One or two insect sounds, an occasional bird chirps, but quiet, lovely quiet. Let's see if a cup of tea and a little reading won't put me back in a frame of mind to sleep a bit more.
