question for friends in the MD area

[winterbadger]

As I get to know Neta better, one of the options I'm thinking of is staying in the area until she's done with grad school and then the two of us going over to the Scotland together. She really likes that idea and is excited about the idea of living abroad and applying what she's going to be learning in grad school to work or research in the UK.

In light of that, I was considering looking for a place I could move to now (while Chris and Mel and I are getting the house ready for sale) that, in due course, Neta and I could end up sharing. So it would need to be within commuting distance to both DC and Baltimore and be somewhere fairly nice but still affordable on my salary (a 2-3 BR apartment/TH/duplex or small house +/- say ~$1500 pcm) in a decent neighborhood/community.

Any suggestions for places to look? gr_c17 has already give us a few pointers, but more input would be welcome.

Comments

[beckon.livejournal.com]

define commuting distance

[winterbadger]

Relatively equal travel times to DC and Baltimore. Less than an hour under ideal conditions. I have to work 40 hours a week, in the office, but I don't have to be there 9-5.

[astartesyriaca.livejournal.com]

I think it is wonderful that you have found this person. But I hope you will weigh this decision very carefully. Scotland is something you have wanted for quite some time, and you may find that if you can get established here, it might make her move easier. And you'll also know that you are definitely committed to each other if your relationship can stay strong while you each pursue your dreams.

I remember what you hae said about how important this move is for you. That is why I feel compelled to say this.

[winterbadger]

I appreciate your saying it, and I know you're doing so out of friendship and wanting me to do what's best for me.

I wouldn't contemplate staying here longer if it meant forgoing Scotland, rather than postponing it. And I do need to confirm with Richard that allowing my current letter to lapse won't affect my ability to get another one (I expect the HO will be only too delighted to take more of my money!) I should also be clear that my lady would not for a moment *allow* me to stay if it meant that I would not be able to go later. She's very definite on that, and I don't want anyone to think otherwise.

But, in my view, this is going to allow both of us to pursue our dreams *and* be happy. Yes, I long to be in Scotland. But I don't think I could be happy there knowing she was stuck back here on her own, trying to get through grad school with no support but her cat and a BF who was thousands of miles away. While I'm here, I'm earning a good salary and can make things easier for her while she's in school (I certainly couldn't help when I'm struggling to start a business over there). Chances are that, unless I am phenomenally lucky, with the new regulations I will only have two years there anyway. So why not do them when we can be together and happy, instead of miserable from being apart and me feeling guilty because she has to go through grad school on her own?

Plus there's my parents' situation. If things go as they are now, we're going to have to get dad into long-term nursing care, and we're going to have to find mum an assisted-living community and help her empty and dispose of the house. I was feeling guilty enough about leaving my sisters to deal with all of that when it was a possibility on the horizon. Now it's here, and I can't really run off and have fun while others are doing that work.

Scotland will still be there in two years. Neta and I can *both* pursue our dreams. This is a win-win plan.

But I *am* grateful for your concern. Good friends let us know when we may be making a mistake. I'm just confident that this is not one.

[astartesyriaca.livejournal.com]

And one more thing... if you can afford that much a month, I'd consider buying another place if you are sticking around - a condo or something. Shame to be throwing that much money away a month, might as well be investing it, even if you sell it in a year or two.

[winterbadger]

Yeah, except that I will be moving before we sell the house (in part *so* we sell the house more easily), so I will not have the capital from that to make a down payment.