OK, and attempt at summing up anything recent

[winterbadger]

Things keep happening, small things, daily events, and I've not been good at recording them. I know, I know, it's much better to be out living life and enjoying it than journaling, but at some point I want to record thigns, both for myself so I can go back later and examine them and for my friends so I can share what's happening with me.

A lot of my focus right now, no surprise, is on my evolving relatiosnhip with Neta. I don't want to gross everyone out with a whole ton of mushiness :-) but I really do adore this woman, and I seem to be able to make her very happy too. We're still ironing out some little kinks in communication and expectations, and we've had one ro two actual *arguments* about things, but they've been settled amicably and we go on loving each other no matter what. :-) Aside from the whole Dunkin Donuts vs. Starbucks coffee thing--*rolleyes*--we really are remarkably well suited. We feel the same way about so many things, share many interests or points of view, and at the same time are different enough that conversations are never dull and we keep learning about new things and finding new perspectives in each other's approach to life. And we're so happy with each other that it's very easy to settle most practical matters of difference, since we are open and honest enough with each other to be clear about our preferences but affectionate enough that we are always looking for ways to please the other person and make them happy. Often the biggest difficulty is that neither of us has a strong opinion and wants to defer to the other. :-) See, like I said, awfully mushy.

I think we may find some grounds for disagreement and opportunity to practice our communication, negotiation, and cooperation skills, as we are about to embark on apartment hunting. That is, we've already started looking (as per my earlier post), and we have several engagments to look at places this weekend (in among dinners with friends, Neta's busy soccer schedule, and my gaming arrangements). Maybe we'll just agree as easily about these choices as we do about others, but if we *are* going to disagree about things, I think this is the place we might do so, with differing opinions as to what is the right amount to pay, how much space do we need, what kind of buildings do we like, location, and so forth. But again, we agree on so much to begin with (that we want a place for all of our kitties; that we don't like high-rise buildings or even "apartment communities" if they can be avoided; that hardwood floors are preferable to carpeting; that access to mass transit is desirable so as to be able to use cars as little as possible) that even here it's difficult to see too much fundamental discord arising.

Various other plans continue to evolve. Her parents sussed out that we're planning on living together and are absorbing the implications of that. We're still thinking about the UK and what plans we may make to visit and (in a year or two) to move there. It's possible that she may be able to get a UK placement for the second year of her program; though that's not certain, it would be nice, especially as a lot of those leaving the program end up getting a job where they did their placement. In the meantime, I do want to show her the places I love so much (Edinburgh, Glasgow, Argyl, Glen Coe, Skye). But we also want to do some touring around the US (lots of Civil War battlefields yet to visit! ;-) We've also talked about places we'd like to visit in Europe, including Spain and Italy. She's much more of a world traveller than I am already, having been to all sorts of places, including Australia and Japan!

Work is getting a bit easier these days, as our new admin person slowly learns her job and takes on more of it, allowing me to get back to mine. It's almost always an interesting place to work; the incongruities are sometimes funny, as when I stopped the other evening to watch several herons fly over on their way to the Potomac, or when I came in today and saw all of our dour, serious hallways that are usually chockablock with people pediconfencing and talking about synergies and organizational matrixing instead filled with parents escorting their wee kiddies about, with baloons and cotton candy in tow.

Preparations for selling the house are proceeding. redactrice has been a marvel at finding people to do work. The Magic Brazilian did a lot of exterior (and some interior) repairs; now we're getting someone in to do some power-washing, puttying, and painting the whole outside of the house and the boardwalks. C&M have been going great guns getting the shrubs tidied up. We've all emptied out a lot of our libraries, though more needs to be done there (at least on my part). C&M had a very worthwhile expedition to the local flea market (/boot sale) where they disposed of much in the way of mathoms and knick-knacks. The local lending library has been getting lots of videos; excess clothing has been going off in bundles; old computer stuff will be getting recycled. Interior painting and patching has to be done, and I need to arrange a couple of workmen to do some minor repairs. With any luck, we should be ready to start showing the place for sale on Memorial Day weekend.

I *am* hoping to have moved out of the house by then, so we can do a final ferocious round of cleanup and repair to the downstairs to make it all nice. That's going to be a sad day. I love Neta and I am *really* looking forward to sharing a place with her and starting the "living together" part of our life together, but I've lived at Highland Lane for nearly ten years, and I've shared a place with Chris, one way or another, for twenty. It's a big change.

N and I are both pretty change-averse people. Of course, there's part of change that's fun and exciting. I really enjoy house- (or flat-) hunting, because it's neat to see new places to live, explore them, and pick one and settle into it. But there's no denying that wrenching oneself out of the familiar and practiced is not something I'm fond of. In the final analysis, though, despite the sadness at leaving good times behind, one has to ask: if the change is inevitable, how much point is there to being sad about it? if there is the prospect of much happiness ahead, why mourn what lies behind? and if the past is full of happy memories, is that happiness ever truly lost, as long as one remembers it? :-)

And leaving Highland Lane is a small step of change compared to the much larger one I'm looking forward to, now in company with my sweetheart, of moving from the US to the UK and starting not only a new home but a new job (maybe a whole new career) and life in a whole new country. Now *that* is going to be an adventure!

In other news, my mum is continuing to muddle through day to day. She's been very brave about plunking through all the paperwork associated with wrapping up my dad's affairs. We still need to find a more permanent solution to her (living) situation; next to clearing out her house, clearing out Highland Lane will have proved to be a doddle!

I'm hoping to resume my piecemeal conquest of the W&OD Trail, but it may have to wait a weekend or two. Meantime, I need to get back to daily riding. I'm no closer to learning how to play the guitar or speak another language, or finish my master's, or paint any more gaming figures. I find I do need a certain amount of time to just "waste" watching TV/movies, playing games, or reading, all in order to decompress. Which is silly, since I hardly have a stressful life, but there it is. There's a lot of stuff that's just going into the "after the move and the house goes on the market" box.

Since this is already horrendously long, I'll conclude with the lyrics of a Richard Shindell song I like, which came unbidden to mind as I was writing about change. I love it, as I love most of his songs. I'm glad to see he's doing a tour of the UK this summer--I'd hate to think I'd not see him (or Dar Williams, or Ellis Paul) after we move. Seeing Kate Rusby, Dougie Maclean, and Old Blind Dogs more often will certainly make up for seeing my favourite Americna artists less often, though.

So Says the Whippoorwill

from the album Vuelta


The change could happen anyday
So says the whippoorwill
She hangs around for the seeds I leave
Out on the windowsill
“Be-free-you-fool, be-free-you-fool”
She sings all afternoon
Then, as if to show me how it’s done,
She leaps into the blue

The change could happen anyday
So say my true love’s eyes
They see into my shadows
With their sweet, forgiving light
She smiles and says, Come on - let’s go
Let’s stroll the boulevard
It’s such a shame to waste the night
Just sitting in the dark

The change could happen anyday
Or so says Father Brown
I listen for that still small voice
But I just can’t make it out
Beneath the constant whispering
Of the devil that I know
But who would I be if I believed?
Who am I if I don’t?

The change could happen anyday
So said the mountaineer
Before he turned to face his cliff
Without a trace of fear
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo, yodel-ay-hee-hoo
He sang right up until
He caught sight of the open blue
And became a whippoorwill
He caught sight of the open blue
And became a whippoorwill